How To Not Fix Everything

One of the greatest gifts people give me is the simple art of listening.

They don’t try to fix things.

They hear me out patiently, only adding words if needs be and never just for the sake of it.

They are patient and understanding about the fact that I am, more often than not, working out there and then how I actually feel and what I think about something by verbalising it to their ears.

They know that they do not have to create a solution on the spot, rather, they let me think it through myself as I talk it out.

I always feel better after and usually no action has been taken, other than the fact that I have got clear about how I feel and I know how to deal with whatever it was that was bothering me. I know then what I have to do.

I cannot put a price on that.

Thanks for listening to me.

How do people help you by listening? How do you help others by listening?

Tell me here.


Getting Over “Writers Block”

I haven’t written much lately.

I finally got over what some might call ‘writers block’ last night.

Here is my suggestion list of what worked for me:

  • Write SOMETHING, anything.
  • Write about something you don’t care about, something you have no attachment to, just to get in the flow again.
  • Write a list. About anything.
  • Play with words, write random words in handwriting.
  • Write some things you did in bullet points.
  • Write a journal. Not long, maybe even bullet points as above.
  • Take a walk.
  • Get outside.
  • Do something worth writing about, staring at a screen won’t help.
  • See the world.
  • Ask some questions on your favourite social gathering space.
  • Talk it out. If you have things on your mind, that you cannot seem to write about, how about talking it out with someone who will listen. I mean really listen. Many times I find it enough simply to verbalise it and then POW, its out and gone and life can move on.

Refuse to believe in writer’s block. That’s just an excuse we tell ourselves and we know it!

What will you write today?

Let me know in my comments here.

This Months Theme – What makes Me Come Alive?

This months theme / question is:

What makes me come alive?

I am exploring and answering this question. Here is my list so far:

  • Taking pictures
  • Shooting small videos
  • Walking
  • All 3 of the above together at once with friends
  • Being in nature
  • Meeting people for coffee and planning how we are going to kick life in the teeth
  • Surfing
  • Yoga sun salutations
  • Eating good food
  • Listening to and discovering new music
  • Reading
  • Watching vimeo inspirational videos
  • Instagram / phoneography
  • Being with people who know more and have done more than me
  • Exploring quirky funky design type shops
  • Cycling / Fixed Gear
  • Encouraging others

What makes you come alive?

Please share in the comments below if you would like to.

Why not take some time out to think and explore this question with me…

Happy New Moment!

Happy New Year 2012 from the UK!

I took these pictures of the TV whilst watching the fireworks taking place in London. Pretty spectacular.

I have received a lot of messages from people saying that anytime is a good time to start fresh.

I appreciate that.

I also feel its a thing of beauty that the whole world starts afresh on 1st January every single year.

Those good feelings have to count for something.

Have an awesome moment, day, week, month and year!

Free Daily Letter Update

I have a small update to the free daily letter.

I have decided after much thought to change the ‘free daily letter’ to simply ‘the free letter’.

This will be sent out in the same way as before, whenever I have written something new.

This only difference is that instead of daily, this may be daily, it may be every other day, it may be weekly.

I am writing everyday, but won’t always publish here.

The reason for this is I would like to make sure that you receive my highest quality writing possible and gives me more time and space to grow without the arbitrary goal of publishing daily affecting what I am doing. Consider this an experiment. It feels right at this moment.

I’d like my writing to grow slowly with me rather than putting more pressure on it than is necessary.

Writing daily was a real achievement for me and very worthwhile but the time has come to evolve.

I hope that you understand where I am coming from on this one and are along for the journey as always.

Beyond The Surface continues weekly as usual and contains the deeper explorations.

Thanks for reading!

I Write vs I am a Writer

I recently received a comment on G+

“good writers such as yourself make small, simple things interesting to read about.”

Wow. I have never been referred to as a ‘writer’ before.

This got me thinking about many things, some of which I will be exploring in more detail in the future here.

Today I would simply like to explore the term ‘writer’.

Am I a writer? What is a writer? How do I know if I am? If I am not, will I one day all of a sudden come to the realisation that I am?

I am many things. One of the things I do is write, that is for certain. Good somedays, bad other days, needs improvement others. A touch of wonderful the next. Always growing. Ever changing. Sometimes overwhelming.

Perhaps the practice and physical act of writing then is what makes me a writer.

I am a writer because I write, not because someone tells me I am, or because I get external validation, although this is always great to hear. I certainly haven’t passed any test that makes me a qualified writer.

I am really very happy if you enjoy my words and join me on my journey, but this is not my sole motivation. If it were, this might change what I write as I try and cater to differing readers needs.

I write also because it adds to my own life. It is a way of expressing and connecting with others through shared experiences, or reflections around situations similar to us both.

I aim to share from my own experience and invite you in, without telling you what you should or shouldn’t do.

I’ll keep writing! ‘Writer’ or not!

I’ll be exploring writing in more detail in Beyond the Surface today.

Do you write? Do you consider yourself a writer?

I would love to hear your thoughts here.


If you like the words I write, you could consider…

Signing up for my free daily letter delivered direct to your inbox.

The Measure of Good Living

How do you measure the degree to which you are living the good life?

  • Wealth?
  • Health?
  • Comfort?
  • Material items?

Lately I have been measuring mine by answering the following question:

“Did I make a difference to someone’s day today?”

If I can answer this with “yes”, then I am living the good life.

Somedays the answer might be a very small yes, others it might be a BIG, often tiring and longwinded journey to YES!

It provides a very simple focus to the day, moment by moment. I can pretty much always find a way to make a difference even if it is just a smile, or listening, I mean REALLY listening to someone’s problem.

Of course there are other elements to answering with a yes such as taking time for myself so that I am energised enough to give to others.

Somedays the yes might have been for myself – did I change something that positively impacted my own life. Did I make a difference to myself by eating well, breathing slow and stretching out?

If I want to feel good, at the end of the day I review the ways I have made a difference today and then the next day look for opportunities to do more of the same.

How did you make a difference today?


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